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logo_cheating_expertsInfidelity is not your fault because cheating is an act that has everything to do with your unfaithful partner and nothing to do with you. Your spouse’s behavior is not a reflection of you as cheating is a unilateral decision, made without you. On the other hand, your marital problems are your fault. The failure of a marriage cannot be entirely attributed to one partner; especially in the cases where one spouse is unfaithful, because no one can be the perfect partner all of the time, even when a marriage is strong.

Cheating has little to do with money, appearance, education, or social status. None of these things matter for you or the person with whom your spouse cheats. We often comment when a spouse leaves his or her partner for someone who is less successful, less educated, less attractive and less respected in the community but what really matters is how we feel in our partners company and anything else takes a distant second place.

Infidelity changes you but not entirely. It should modify your behavior so that you are wiser and stronger in future relationships. For instance, you may become more distrustful, but using this in the future to have better communication rather than accepting “bad behavior” will make it feel as though you are getting the respect that you deserve. Yet, you and only you can determine the changes that you make. When someone doesn’t value you, that doesn’t mean that you don’t possess  value. You need to be confident and pleased with the person you are so that someone else will recognize these qualities.

It’s okay to forgive your spouse but it’s also okay not to. It may very well be the case that your spouse does not acknowledge his/her wrongdoing or want forgiveness, but forgiving is a mechanism that will enable you to move forward.On the other hand, it’s okay not to forgive. Even if your spouse is repenting so that they he or she can move on, someone who values your forgiveness will wait for it. Forgiveness is ultimately a gift from you; you should give yourself as much time as you need to heal your wound.

Finally, remember not everyone cheats. It’s incredibly unattractive to mistrust an entire gender based on a few or one individual’s behavior. You must have a positive outlook and acknowledge that healthy relationships are attainable. The best way to do this is not to bash infidelity but instead praise “role model” relationships.

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